


Let Go

by Kobuntan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Depression, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Mental Breakdown, One Shot, Pain, Spread the Erwin love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 11:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11356935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kobuntan/pseuds/Kobuntan
Summary: “Time doesn’t heal emotional pain, you need to learn how to let go.”― Roy T. Bennett





	Let Go

As she walked into the room beyond the entryway, she saw a sleeping man on the bed. Since the room was already filled with early-morning light she decided to blew out the small candle. He was lying on his back on a comfortable mattress and his head rested on a soft pillow. She lay down beside him and watched him in silence. The silky sheets against her skin were comforting.

His blonde hair seemed darker against the stark whiteness of the pillowcase. His eyes were closed, his brow furrowed in sleep. She had never noticed before how long his eyelashes were. His cheekbones were sharp and well defined, his jaw sharp as well and his nose a fine, straight line. Her eyes drifted down the strong line of his neck, lingering on his pronounced Adam's apple as he swallowed in his sleep.

The neat, white bandage wrapped around his wounded right arm. His chest was rising and falling with a discernible, steady rhythm. She raises herself on one elbow and watched the rise and fall of his chest. Erwin did snore. A little. The few hair on his chest were now exposed to her. She reached out, and laid her palms against the solid muscles of his chest. She ran her hand softly over his chest, letting her fingertips trail over the hard wall of his rib cage, smoothing over his scarred skin. As he shifted under her touch she looked up at his face, his eyes were still closed. Her husband's skin was warm, she splayed her fingers and caressed his flesh. Feeling the muscles of his chest under her fingers, she began drawing tiny circles on his skin. Her limbs slowly trailed across the springy light hair on his chest.

Erwin's lashes fluttered open, and the corners of his lips gifted her with a sleepy smile — a smile that did odd things to her stomach. He rolled onto his side and faced her. She remembered that smile; it was the same smile he showed her when she walked down the aisle. He closed his tired eyes again, decided to go back to sleep.

“Good morning,” He was greeted by a familiar female voice. 

“Are you awake?” Erwin opened his eyes and rolled back onto his back, reluctant to surrender to the sweet bonds of slumber. After a moment he blinked his eyes sleepily, and as he opened his mouth to yawn half of his face seemed to disappear. She giggled at the sight and gave him a sweet smile.

“Huh?” The blond man murmured sleepily at the sound of her laughter. In the far depths of his mind, he realised that perhaps it was time to get started with his day. He raked a hand through his sand hair and shoved that unpleasant thought from his mind. The woman's lips curved into a coyly smile as she leaned closer to him and kissed the bridge of his nose. Erwin wrinkled his nose after her action and dodged her eyes.

“Someone is embarrassed.” She giggled at the sight.

“That’s not the case and you know it.” As he sat up the sheet slid down his abdomen.

“Don’t be so cranky.” He turned and looked out his window; the rising sun cast an orange glow on everything. His expression changed from irritated to sorrowful. A heavy sigh broke from his lips. He had so much work to do. He felt tired, so tired. It was not the kind of tired fixed by a good night sleep, Erwin was tired psychically. It had been such a long journey. For both of them. For everyone.

“Erwin.” There was a moment of silence, “My love,” she said as she put her hand on his face to turn it towards her. His jaw was tight, and his blue eyes looked pained.

“It's okay,” she told him, her voice like the finest sonnet. “It's okay.” She herself felt stunningly calm. She put her hand over his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Tears touched the corners of his eyes as he closed them and leaned his head against her shoulder. His pain seemed to coil around hers like two ribbons being braided. The first tears slipped from her eyes and slid down her face, but she couldn't bring herself to brush them away. Another tear swelled over the dam of her lashes and slid silently down her cheek. They didn't move, and they didn't say anything either.

He cried as he'd never cried, letting go of the years of pain that had suffocated him. It felt so good to be able to let go after holding it in for so long. His shoulders shuddered as he wept on her shoulder. She put her arms around his chest and pulled him into her chest. He knew that this was _that_ moment, the moment if he would let her go, he would definitely fall apart. She held him close and whispered into his ear as calmly as she could, “Erwin, my love. I'm right here, and I am not leaving you alone.” Erwin was holding onto her even tighter, with his face buried in the crook of her neck.

“My love.” Gently the palm of her hand came to rest flat on his back and moved in a soothing pattern. His skin was burning under her fingers. She caressed him, a slow, soothing glide of her hands over his skin. “It’s okay.” Erwin's sobbing got quieter, his heart slowed a bit, was no longer hammering in his chest.

After a while, Erwin leaned back and looked at her. Some deep gut instinct told him it wasn't just pity that moved her. He could see the pain in her eyes. His pain. He had shared it with her and she had accepted it willingly. After a moment, Erwin leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. She rubbed away a tear that slid down his cheek.

Erwin was breathing heavily through his nose. “I'm here.” She told him as she planted a soft kiss on his lips. “I'm here.” He rested his head back on the pillow, his breathing still heavy but his heart rate starting to slow. She lay her head down next to his, her forehead still touching his. His arm still wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly. Erwin's beloved placed her hand on his cheek and softly caressed his skin with her thumb. After a time, his breathing calmed and he was able to lie in absolute silence. She lightly pressed her lips against his; she felt his lips move against hers lightly, gently even. She broke the kiss and looked at her husband. “You're not alone,” she swore to him as she pressed her lips on his one more time. “I'm here.”

He broke the kiss and whispered, “You're here.” Erwin whispered her name, planting a reassuring kiss on her forehead and closed his eyes. Her presence reassures him that it was real, everything. With his hand still around her waist, he inhaled her scent deeply and rested his forehead against hers, his breath fanning across her cheeks. They were exhausted and both of them slipped easily into dreams, never once letting go of each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story last week when I saw one fanmade Erwin gif where he was lying on the bed, napping, and when he opened his eyes he tugged the "reader/viewer" closer to him. I really hope I didn't make such a huge mess of it and that it makes sense... 
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy reading it!  
> I miss our Commander so much. (T_T)


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